Patients who accept that pain cannot be cured must set new goals for themselves. The goals must be realistic and attainable. By reorienting yourself to new goals, you will begin to make sense of your life and the problem of your pain.
Experts refer to this less rigid style of coping as accomodative. Chronic pain patients often persist in seeing the only solution to their pain as a "cure." When this is the center of their problem solving method, no other solutions are possible.
Now that you've moved away from this style of thinking, you can begin to explore alternate solutions to the problem of your pain. For some patients, that means increasing their activity despite the pain. For others it is a matter of thinking more about the meaning of life in a positive way despite the pain.
Taking your primary focus off the pain will help you reach your goals. If you set easy-to-reach goals at first, then you can make new goals. Slowly, by reorienting yourself to different goals, controlling the pain becomes less important.