I am desparate for a pump. been blackballed, screamed out of an office, deep depression, loss of appetite, please help,

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/pumpsters/ .this is a group for people that has a morphine pump.

I am taking oxycodone for pain after surgery for my neck. I took lortab every day before surgery for about a year. My doctor is getting worried that I am getting addicted to the pain meds and he doesn't want me taking them any longer. I am afraid to go off the meds because I'm afraid the pain will come back worse. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?